Season 2, Episode 02: How to Fail Gracefully

Over the last four years, I have been promising to finish cleaning up the audio from the various panels that I have been on and improve the show notes. Now that GraysMatter Podcast is up and running, I have taken the time to also revisit these panels. Please join me in experiencing Justin on Panels.

MarsCon 2018

The panel from CVG 2017 is back! Everybody makes mistakes sometimes. Maybe you've worded something poorly or were misinformed on a topic. Maybe you just didn't think a decision through and something went the wrong way. It happens. But how we react in these situations is what matters most.

With: Rachel Cleveland, Kyle Andrew, Michelle Chmura, Jennifer Jones, Justin Grays

Content Warning: Mentions of:

• Abuse

• Anxiety

• Divorce

• Imposter Syndrome

• Inappropriate Touching

• Mental Health / Mental Illness

• Racism

• Sexism

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“It’s already graceful” - the panel started off rocky and never got any easier. I was perhaps the most anxious that I had ever been on a panel, and we never really recovered. But why I brought up Grace Jones, I don’t know - my mind makes random connections and it makes sense at the time. Though the convention took place in 2018, we still had strong words about the failings of the political system in the 2016 election. And as we, the panelists, were big on tangents, we kept veering away from the graceful part of failing and into the learning from mistakes part of failing. But it is important to learn to fail gracefully, and we pressed forward in talking about ways to learn from mistakes and accept grace.

Parke Kunkle, the guest astronomer for the year (and my astronomy professor from when I was working on my associates degree), is the person who gave the first story about failure, and his saying to keep the ego out of it is one solution to failing gracefully.

Facing imposter syndrome is another step in failing gracefully - realizing that you are not an imposter is important. Humility requires realizing one’s own abilities. Check in with yourself and be aware of self-esteem.

I say “first corporate job” because I had worked jobs at day camps and parks before working at Hollywood Video.

Another tool is to remember your achievements and the compliments that you’ve received, and know that failing does not define who you are as a person.

Self-examination is also needed to make certain that you are not giving yourself a negative impression of yourself. Without that, it can be very difficult to give yourself the grace to accept imperfections and learn from mistakes.

For my thoughts on white people having dreadlocks, listen to “50 Shades of Blackface”.

Admit when you are wrong. Don’t double-down on things that you don’t know about or are wrong about - it’s okay to be wrong now and then, as long as it is taken as a learning opportunity. And take responsibility for yourself; it is very human to get defensive, but taking responsibility can go a long way.

The listed five ways to fail gracefully at the end of the panel was taken from this Fresh Exchange article.

Cover Art by Michelle Chmura | Theme Music by Caleb Kelson

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