I haven’t posted here in over 5 months.
As I have alluded to before, I have depression. I also have seasonal affectiveness disorder and anxiety, and this winter has been a particularly difficult one for me. It’s not that anything specific has happened this time around; it is just that my brain decided to stop taking pleasure in doing the things that I found pleasurable, and I stopped taking part in the things that I once enjoyed.
Depression is a morbid disease, actively shortening lifespans, and I can actually feel it sucking the life out of me. I have been working to counter it though medications and trying to get myself back into being active, and I have been seeking out therapy again. Unfortunately, each day that goes by is another weight added to the crushing burden that depression puts on a person until it squashes us. Adding anxiety to the mix makes it so that each day of not doing something makes it that much harder to get back into doing it.
But as I said, I am working on it. It is now April, and our April snowstorm is a week behind us now. I am feeling better again, and my depression is better under control.
Every so often I think about writing out a long post about what living with depression is like. But then I find that I don’t really have the words for it. It just is. It’s a part of who I am. And I am working on keeping it under control.
You all have stuck by me while I have been absent, and I am forever grateful. I’m back, and I hope to be posting on a regular basis once again.